Ramblings of a Moron: Portal 2
Disclaimer
"Ramblings of a Moron" is a review series done by WSGF member Cynagen. While reviews from other sites focus on extensive play and detailed postmortem analysis, "Ramblings of a Moron" is a first impression "stream of consciousness" review. The grammar isn't perfect, and the prose can sometimes be disjointed, but these are the first impressions of a seasoned WSGF Insider. For more information, and for more Ramblings, see the complete list of Cynagen's offerings.
The Rambling
"Look at you soar through the air majestically.. like an eagle piloting a blimp." -GLaDOS. Yes, she's back, and she's very bitter. She's not afraid to show it and make sure to demoralize at every triumph and huge success. As you run through the new levels she's laid out for you, you learn more and more about how physics don't apply to this game, and to good effect later on.
Waking up in a room sparsely decorated, on a very comfy bed, you're treated to some minor exercise before being asked to go back to sleep. You wake up again to find that the room you inhabit (and the facility in general) is in massive disarray, but that's to be expected when the operating system for the entire facility has been offline for, well... I still haven't figured that one out yet. Only after you're awakened are you alerted that there is to be an emergency evacuation, and shortly thereafter freed from your room by a sprightly little bugger by the name of Wheatly. Given only minor direction by a ball that doesn't seem to have a clue, you navigate your way through the wreckage that was and is Aperture Science, only to run across the nightmare that was GLaDOS. Through some "minor" (I'm trying to be objective here) accidents by Wheatly, GLaDOS is brought back online, and quickly puts you back to work testing.
The new test environments while still in disrepair, are fun, they're not exactly challenging. Think of the time spent here as a warm-up for what's to come, and what's to come, is bloody insane. Without giving away too much of what to expect, you're going to be pit against au natural environments, no longer the predesigned (by GLaDOS at least) test chambers. Armed only with your portal gun, your wit, and some ingenuity are you going to be able to navigate an environment with little to no guidance, a freedom never before experienced in Portal. With your new found sense of accomplishment, you'll go far, but only so far as your brain can take you, and I will say, my brain fried after about 5 hours of non-stop gameplay, and yes, your reviewer had to rely on a walkthrough in order to figure what turned out to be a simple puzzle, go figure. If you wish to give yourself the best fighting chance at this game, you must be at the top of yours, it is definitely a bigger challenge this time around. I would detract from the game for this, but alas, I've only gotten to play after I've been at work for 9 hours straight and my IQ is in the crapper because of it. Keep your chin up, make sure you're well rested (as the game encourages right from the get-go), and you should be just fine.
The slightly steeper learning curve combined with my worn-out brain, almost, alllllllmost made me want to throw my keyboard down and say "screw you GLaDOS, I'm going to play some Rock Band." I will admit, I'm thoroughly hooked on this game, and I very much look forward to completing it here in the next day or two, but as always, this isn't a postmortem review, this is me, in the trenches, trying to make sense of what my brain is comprehending and putting it into words for you to understand. I would still very much recommend this game to anyone really, but especially to those who have played and beaten Portal first, and if you haven't played (and beaten Portal), then what the heck are you doing here? Go get it and finish the game already!
Graphics: 9/10 - Plenty of new things to see, lots of old things with refreshed graphics and models, turrets look shiny-er now, I guess that's a bonus?
Audio: 9/10 - The dialog provided by GLaDOS, Wheatly, and other incidental characters is very unique and fun, breathing lots of life into this title.
Action: 8/10 - There are plenty of fast moving action parts, and quick reaction times needed, tests keep it up, but there is an overall lull that I can't get over.
Re-playability: 8/10 - I admit, I have not done Co-Op yet so I don't know what the test chambers or how the multiplayer would affect this, but thinking about the long run, it's still worth plenty.
Value to Cost: 9/10 - I only award such a high rating because, well, let's face it... The game deserves it. Very polished, well done artwork, characters, levels, everything! Kudos Valve!
Overall Rating: 86% - Only suffering because of re-playability and action... the lulls in the game are just too much, make it more fast paced Valve!
Buy? Dood Buy!